Van Dijk blaming Koeman for the World Cup disaster is like a goalkeeper claiming the striker got in his way—just own it and move on. • Auxerre-PSG will either be a proper cup tie or PSG will remember they're in a different tax bracket and make it boring by halftime. • Leverkusen's unbeaten run means Hamburg are walking into the Allianz Arena knowing they're there to be humiliated, but at least they'll get paid for it. • Bielik got charged by the FA while the police walked away, which tracks perfectly with English football's obsession with theatre over actual consequences. • Barcelona hit a billion euros in revenue and still can't figure out how to defend a set piece—money really doesn't fix everything, does it? Van Dijk blaming Koeman for the World Cup disaster is like a goalkeeper claiming the striker got in his way—just own it and move on. • Auxerre-PSG will either be a proper cup tie or PSG will remember they're in a different tax bracket and make it boring by halftime. • Leverkusen's unbeaten run means Hamburg are walking into the Allianz Arena knowing they're there to be humiliated, but at least they'll get paid for it. • Bielik got charged by the FA while the police walked away, which tracks perfectly with English football's obsession with theatre over actual consequences. • Barcelona hit a billion euros in revenue and still can't figure out how to defend a set piece—money really doesn't fix everything, does it?

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